How do you deal with a missed opportunity? It's frustrating when I realize that I have missed out on an opportunity. It is even more frustrating when I realize that it was an opportunity that God had put before me. It is at that moment when I begin to feel that endless wave of regret. Of course, regret isn't a sin; however, not letting go of the past isn't looked at favorably by God. I believe regret is more of a sin that I have created in my mind and since God forgives my sins, then I should have not problem forgiving myself and to (in my best Elsa voice) let it go! With that being said, I am going to take this opportunity to let go of my regret, so that I can move forward to what lies ahead.
Bessie Bowman Shore was born on June 2, 1931 to the late Davis Garfield Bowman and the late Manie Anne Puckette Bowman of Ararat, Virginia. Bessie grew up quickly due to her mama dying unexpectedly when she only 8 years old. Her daddy, whom she loved and respected, would remarry to the late Nelly Sawyers Bowman. Bessie was blessed with not only a mama, but a mother figure as well. Bessie's childhood shaped her in many ways. As a little girl, she would tell you that her family filled with many brothers and sisters didn't have much at all. Humble beginnings is an understatement. Bessie was taught early on that Jesus was her lord and savior and would often share just how cold that creek was when she was baptized and that her clothes were completely dry by the time she walked home and that she didn't have any runs in her stockings. She and her family didn't have much, but what they did have they made sure to take care of it. Bessie had a wonderful childhood even though she missed her mama terribly. While Bessie was a loving and caring woman of God, she had a hard time showing it. I probably would too if I had lost my mama that young.
Bessie had an impressive work ethic. Whether she was at the tobacco barn hand stringing tobacco leaves or running a sewing machine in the factory or even running a maker at R. J. Reynolds Tobacco where she would eventually retire from after 25+ years of service and let's not forget being a wife of 66 years to her husband Roger Sidney Shore and a mama to her children Revonda, Roger Jr. Shelia and myself...even though my mama was the oldest, I was Bessie's first grandchild whom she treated like one of her own.
When she wasn't working, Bessie loved to go camping. All of her children and grandchildren have many memories of traveling with her and most of them are so funny that it literally takes your breathe away. Bessie's love of bluegrass music was most always part of our camping adventures which led us to KOA's, Lake Myers and Masterson Station Park just to name a few that come to mind and it's impossible not to smile when thinking of those places because of the fond memories that go along with them.
Bessie was quite talented as well. She won many ribbons at the fair for her sewing abilities. While she was quite the seamstress, not all her children were thrilled about the many outfits she made for them which was evident by the looks they presented in their school pictures. I do believe that Bessie passed down her talents of sewing, singing, playing the guitar and her love of decorating to all of her children and her 8 grandchildren and even her 6 great grand children. Bessie also enjoyed reading her bible which she did diligently as well as reading Erma Bombeck. She also enjoyed playing Shanghai Rummy, Rook, Scrabble and she loved to work the Jumble that was featured in the newspaper as well as search a word.
Bessie's favorite time of the year was Christmas. She loved decorating for Christmas. She decorated everything and if it wasn't right the first time, we would do it again until it was. One of my fondest childhood memories was that of going off on Christmas Eve. We would pick a place to go shopping...sometimes we even started the day before if it was more than a few hours away. We would finish up our Christmas shopping and close down every retailor to find last minute stocking stuffers. We would then rush back to her house where we secretly filled the stockings that hung on her chimney. I spent 44 Christmas's with my Mother Dear and I had the pleasure of helping her decorate most of those.
Much like any of us at anytime, my Mother Dear wasn't the easiest person to love. She had her own way of showing love and I often think it might have been misunderstood by many that didn't really know her. She had a difficult time expressing emotion, but wouldn't we all if our upbringing was like hers...losing her mama at such a young age changed her in ways that many would never understand.
Bessie, also affectionately known as Bess, Bessie B. Mother Dear, Mimi, Mama and Sugg (short for sugar) as my grandpa would call her, was a woman of God, much like myself she would tell you that she too was perfectly imperfect. Bessie lived a full life filled with love, laughter and heartache....and even though today isn't quite how she would have wanted her funeral to go...sure she would have loved the flowers and of course how she was presented...she would have wanted there to be lots more family and friends that she spent her entire life around that brought her the joy, the love and the laughter. In her last few months, it was quite difficult for her to fully understand the ways of this world as we were in a pandemic. Bessie loved life and would have lived many more days, but God was ready for her to come home.
While we will all miss her terribly, that eight year old little girl was ready to see her mama.
Since that day, I have regretted that I didn't push harder for an opportunity to write my Mother Dear's eulogy. Philippians 3:13-15 reminds me to forget about what is behind me and to more on and focus on what matters which is my call in Christ.
How I wish I could have known her