Social media has a way of bringing our past front and center. It doesn't matter what time of day you log on...there it is...that positive reminder of how far you have come or that negative reminder of what use to be. For example, this morning I logged on to Facebook and was greeted with a post I made a year ago. Yep, there I was....some devotion time with JESUS, some JAVA in a favorite Rae Dunn mug and some sparkling Sabika JEWELS...along with hair and make-up all situated on a freshly cleaned and Spring styled front porch known as My Happy Place. You would think that would be one of those positive memories that would make you happy or content, but for me that was a memory of frustration and somewhat regret seeing as how that clearly wasn't where I am today.
Somewhere along the way I fell off the wagon so to speak. Last year was kinda all over the place with the kids starting new activities, my husband being unexpectedly unemployed for a few months and of course my side hustles. I kept an extremely tight schedule and amazingly everyone made it to everything on time...never missing an activity...I even managed to work in some volunteer time and a date night with the hubby....and with all that hustling I am thankfully to say that no child was left behind...literally.
Fast forward to YESTERDAY...another day rushing out the door, no make-up...a dash of eyeliner, roots are exposed, brows are becoming one with themselves...I am still carrying around 2021 planner with my 2022 planner which hasn't been written in...my friend Yvonne told me to TAKE IT OUT OF YOUR PURSE...and said it in a tone like she was my sponsor...and even a few weeks ago I went without an earring in public...with a protein drink in hand...there I am rushing to the car.
I am beginning to feel like Paul Harvey and hoping that I am not looking like him...I said all that to say this...where is my schedule? What happened to my time that was once reserved for God? Why did I stop showing up every day? When did I start ignoring him? God never leaves me...He tells me that He will never leave me...so it must be me that I have left Him...well not really. I still have Jesus but I just stopped making time for Him. Wow...just thinking that was bad enough and now to actually say it out loud seems even worse...I stopped making time for Jesus. The very one that has given me everything...I thought it was ok to just stop making time for Him.
I am realizing that my rollercoaster of emotions over the past few months all started when I stopped making time for Him. I allowed all the many blessings that He had given me slowly consume my time that I no longer had time for Him. Sure I thanked him daily and He knows that my heart is grateful but He wants more...He wants more time with ME...just ME. Isn't that all any of us ever want...that constant desire to be wanted and loved. Our families that truly love us can't even give us that and that's ok because we certainly can't give that to them...but we can to HIM.
Today, I am going begin my day with a loud and thunderous THANK YOU! I will make plans in my planner for everyone and I will start with HIM. I can't get carried away within my life and become so organized that I forget to include Him. When I forget Him I take for granted the work He has done for me. So, today I will begin to try and live by this scripture...James 4:15..."If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." At the end of the day, everything else can be rescheduled.
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